cowbellz's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- kristy the barmaid and the prince Here's another IM conversation with george from many months ago that i found on my computer. again, jorge, hope you don't mind. this is one of my favorites. i always wanted to be a barmaid. thekristycowart: i'm bored. thekristycowart: tell me a story. ne0g0: hmmmm ne0g0: the other day ne0g0: there was this storm in Ireland ne0g0: where a barmaid named Kristy lived thekristycowart: yay! ne0g0: she was at work when the storm hit ne0g0: and though it was somewhat empty before the storm ne0g0: everyone who was in the streets of the small town rushed into the pub to escape the torrential rain ne0g0: and so Kristy thought it would be a good idea to keep these sopping wet patrons busy as she was the only barmaid working that day ne0g0: so she proposed a contest: ne0g0: the first lad who could guess her middle name would recieve a kiss ne0g0: from any lass in the bar that they desired ne0g0: that agreed to participate beforehand thekristycowart: hmmmmm...interesting. ne0g0: so the first lad gave a guess. ne0g0: "SUSAN!" he exclaimed ne0g0: "no," replied Kristy the barmaid ne0g0: (also, the penalty for being wrong was you had to pay kristy a pound) ne0g0: so he gave kristy a pound. thekristycowart: i like that rule. ne0g0: This went on for quite some time, and Kristy had racked up some mad dough when the scary old man approached. thekristycowart: oh shit ne0g0: all of the lasses who agreed to play were petrefied because no one would ever want to kiss this old man. ne0g0: he had a hairy growth on the side of his nose thekristycowart: he should get that removed. ne0g0: and more wrinkles than a crumpled up piece of paper ne0g0: he had hairs longer than repunzle's streaming out of his nose and ears ne0g0: NO ONE wanted to kiss that man. thekristycowart: i wonder why. ne0g0: Kristy saw the folly of her scheme. ne0g0: But she figured the no one would be able to guess her middle name, so she told the man to go ahead and guess. ne0g0: "Rene," he rasped through his crusted lips. thekristycowart: SHIT ne0g0: Kristy went pale from head to toe, and nearly fell down. ne0g0: I think she also said "SHITE!" ne0g0: under her breath thekristycowart: haha ne0g0: So the old man then said he would like a kiss from Kristy, as she was the most lovely of the lasses in the pub. thekristycowart: of course, that's just kristy the barmaid's luck. ne0g0: Kristy was overcome with fear, and it was all she could do to keep from bolting out the door ne0g0: but something deep inside told her that underneath this grotesque outer shell, a sweet old man lived. thekristycowart: you sure that's what she was told? ne0g0: haha ne0g0: yes thekristycowart: ok ne0g0: So she mustered up all her strength, closed her eyes, and gave him a kiss. ne0g0: Apparantly, her good heart paid off, because upon delivering the kiss, the crusty old man turned into a handsome prince. thekristycowart: hee hee thekristycowart: awwwww thekristycowart: was he cute as hell? ne0g0: Everyone in the pub cheered loudly because he was cute as hell. thekristycowart: HAHAHAHA thekristycowart: did they live happily ever after in ireland? ne0g0: The storm stopped, and the prince swept Kristy the barmaid off her feet and took her to his castle, where they lived happily ever after. And they had many babies. ne0g0: Because they were Catholic 3:29 pm - 14 july 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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