cowbellz's Diaryland Diary

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having a rough couple of weeks.

why? not really sure.

but i've narrowed it down to a few possibilites.

• boredom. i'm so very bored with my life right now. my rockstar lifestyle was fun for a couple of years. but i'm getting sick of it. going out to the same bars over and over isn't comforting. it's BORING. don't get me wrong. i'm not looking for a normal 8-5 job. that would make me cry. but i am looking for change.


• hormones. whatever. happens to all us girls.


• lack of money. work is slow. and i mean SLOW. i'm tired of not knowing how much money i will make from one week to the next. you can't count on anything.


• along the same lines as the lack of money thing. i can't travel. i have friends in san fran, nyc, and boston that i am DYING to go visit. plus i think a good two week road trip would do wonders for my head. but i can't. not just because i don't have any extra dough. but also because of the nature of my job. i don't work, i don't get paid. so i take time off to go out of town, and i can't make rent when i get back. it's killing me. i need to be able to travel from time to time.
• just general grumpiness and loneliness. which i realize is stupid when i have great friends all around me. i can't explain it.

so i'm trying. and it's exciting one day and so damn depressing the next.

ugh.

1:27 pm - 11 january 2005

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