cowbellz's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- guess i'll never have a job where i wear scrubs. i'm not a big fan of hospitals. i know, i know. i work in one. but somehow it's different. i work in an outpatient clinic. where people have appointments, they come for an hour or so, and they leave. inpatient is an entirely different story. ever since i was a small child, i have spent countless hours in hospitals visiting grandparents. i know all three hospitals in beaumont like the back of my hand. and a handfull in houston as well. one of my co-workers had emergency surgery last week and is in the hospital across the street. she asked my boss where i was and why i hadn't come to visit her yet. i just couldn't. the thought of it freaked me out. so, today armando and i went together to see her. the minute we entered the hall that leads to the elevators up to the inpatient floors, my stomach felt all jittery. the air changed and i smelled that all too familiar smell. the smell of sanitizer and hospital food. when we found her room, i didn't want to go in. we did and we sat and visited for about 20 minutes. she was talking to us about how weird it is that your life can change in a few minutes. she was cleaning the house and all of a sudden she was in the hospital having surgery. it's crazy to think about. 20 minutes was about all i could take. she wasn't in too bad of shape, it was just the environment i couldn't handle. i start to feel guilty about being healthy. i don't eat as healthy as i should, i drink, i work out only sporadically, yet i've been blessed with good health. some of these people live healthier lives than i do, but still end up sick. it doesn't seem right. but i'm glad i went to visit her, she seemed happy to see us. i came back to work in time to catch the hospital clowns on their friday rounds. and now my cheeks hurt from laughing. 2:01 pm - 02 august 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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